Barenaked Hurley - If I Had A Million Dollars - Lyrics

I heard this song on the Jay and Jack LOST podcast but haven't seen the lyrics online anywhere, so here's my transcription. If you compare this to the original song lyrics you'll see how close they actually are. I grabbed the mp3 from brianenigma's page. Thanks!

Barenaked Hurley - If I Had A Million Dollars - Lyrics
(A LOST Parody of "If I Had A Million Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies)

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I would buy you an island (I would buy you an island)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd build you underground bunkers on your island (and setup a smoky security system)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd setup freaky science experiments (and juxtapositional eugenics and perhaps meteorology)
And if I had a million dollars, I'd crash a plane

If I had a million dollars I'd make a list and send in spies
If I had a million dollars I'd make the survivors think the trees had eyes
If I had a million dollars we could kidnap all the little, tiny children who survived.
And maybe continue with our wacky, society-building utopian experiments.
And they'd be all like, "Oooh, we can use our backwards talking powers to freak all the rest of the survivors out."
Yeah!

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd plant an instructional film (but not a real instructional film, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd cut out a piece of that film (yep, and hide it in another bunker)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd dress up in a beanie and a fake beard (ooh, all that crazy theatrical glue)
And if I had a million dollars I'd crash a plane

If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to keep eating guava and boar
If I had a million dollars we'd pig out in the Swan hatch 'cause it's got more
If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to eat DHARMA dinners
"But we would eat DHARMA dinners."
"Of course we would, we'd just eat more."
"And make really expensive ranch dressings."
"That's right, and they can keep up to three months at room temperature."

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd carry a jesus stick (but not a real jesus stick, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I think I'd paint a mural in the hatch (was it by Picasso or Garfunkel?)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd hijack all of your guns (haven't you always wanted a gun stash?!)
And if I had a million dollars I'd crash a plane

If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars... I'd be LOST!